saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
