My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize