I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
