Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i need an iv and a liver transplant
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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