somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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