i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
