Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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