Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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