ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
