a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize