It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
