If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
