am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
