Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
