Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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