Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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