Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
