It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
this is an emotional support booty call
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
