exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
