Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
