i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
