shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
