marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
