Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
