its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
