"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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