dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
