I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
