Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
