i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize