it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
do herpes really smell.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
