he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
