I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
