I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
