what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
