ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Randomize