I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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