i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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