me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
