help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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