so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
