you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
