Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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