i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
