You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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