i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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