Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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