wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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