you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
