please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
