I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
whose ass print is on the piano?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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