this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
