Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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