when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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