I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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