bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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