I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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