You smell like stripper and shame
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
