I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
