i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
