She is in my trunk
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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