she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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