I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I had to cum in my sink.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize