I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
