You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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