She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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