I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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