you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize