i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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